Working Love

Posted by:  Wendy Shalit
Topic:  Office love: Does its sometimes forbidden nature make it more enticing?

Today I write from above the clouds somewhere between Seattle and Toronto.  The lines at the airport in Seattle were so long that I wasn't sure if I was going to make my flight.  I considered dropping Dan's name since he is a local celebrity, but that turned out not to be necessary.

Without a doubt, office love is inherently more enticing due to all the barriers.  In fact, the workplace is one of the rare places in modern life where something like an actual code of conduct still exists.  Even offices without a clear sexual harassment policy or dress code will still usually encourage a sense of the "proper."  (Indeed, following Mill's distinction between the external law and the internal law, the offices with the most clearly delineated policies are perhaps often in the most trouble.)  Yet even external modesty can act as both a damper and an intrigue.

Another thing working in favor of office romance is the sheer amount of time we spend at work nowadays.  As everyone knows, love requires time to nurture, and if we work 24/7 then our lives are literally taking place at work.  Naturally, romantic opportunities present themselves.

What does this mean for those considering getting involved in "office love"?  In my opinion, the repercussions of casual workplace flings tend not to be worth it.  On the other hand, if you've found true love, then of course that's another story entirely.  In the latter case, it does help to try to keep the romance a secret as long as possible; when you no longer can, it just might be the time to make an announcement.  Even so, that's often just the beginning of the drama.  A good friend of mine who just married an office mate found it necessary to relocate so that both her and her husband could be taken seriously.   

Was it worth it?  Absolutely.

True love should trump work any day.