The secret about secrets

Posted by: Greg and Amiira Behrendt
Topic: Is it OK for couples to keep big secrets (credit-card debt, plastic surgery, etc) as long as they don’t involve infidelity?

We believe that it is important in a relationship to maintain some semblance of a private life. Meaning that not every thought or fact about yourself belongs to the public domain or to your partner. And some things are better kept secret like that one time you tried on your cousin’s underwear (Well now that cat’s outta the bag.) I don’t have to know everything that goes on in Amiira’s life. I’m happy with what she chooses to share with me and I also trust that if I needed to know about it she’d tell me and if she hasn’t she has good reason. In fact a private life is what makes her sexy to me. My guess is she’d prefer I were more private as I have an annoying tendency to tell her every thought that crosses my mind and I know for a fact many are not worthy of breath or sound.

So is it okay to not tell someone that that is not your original nose? I guess you have to ask yourself why you would be afraid to share such information or why you feel compelled to. You see I don’t share everything with Amiira because I don’t think she’d be that interested or that she really needs to know, but I’m not afraid to tell her anything or answer any queries she has. If what you are afraid to share could have a negative impact on the future of the relationship (something like debt) then I should think you’d want to tell your person so you two can better deal with it. Here’s a good guideline for secrets - if the shoe were on the other foot and the secret were withheld from you, would you really care? Would it change the way you felt about your partner or have a serious impact on the relationship? If the answers are no, no and not even then by all means let your old nose go to the grave with you. In other words you don’t have to share everything with your partner but you should pick a partner you can share everything with