Topic: What advice would you give a friend who is looking to find love in 2008?
Posted by: Amy Spencer
When I was looking for love in 2007, a lot of people (and books and Dr. Phil episodes) told me: Love yourself. Because you have to love yourself before you can love someone else. All true of course. But I found that hard to gauge in the same way "Stop eating when you're starting to feel full" is. Me, I don't feel full until my plate is empty, and with no way to measure self-contentment, how do I know if I love myself enough?
What was easier to do, I realized, was to start loving my life. That I could do in an active, measurable way. Instead of going for drinks in desperation with any stranger I met (I mean, how many glasses of rosé can one girl drink?), I began to spend more time with my friends and my family who I loved. I went for lingering brunches and inhaled my freedom. I walked for hours around the city appreciating my health, my home, my apartment, my job and everything else I had going for me. And because I didn't have a husband and kids (though I wanted both), I traveled more than ever, and felt even better about my life when I was out exploring the world. And the more I appreciated my life, the happier and more fulfilled I felt. And the happier and more fulfilled I felt, the more I glowed. And the more I glowed, the more confident I was. And the more confident I was, well...that's when the men came flocking. Yes, I had plenty of down days (my God!) But I had far more happy ones, and I'm grateful now that I made sure to have them.
So I suggest the same to someone looking for love in 2008: Love every single second you have—and I mean that literally. Think about it: If all goes according to hope and plan and you DO meet someone and fall in love, won't you wish you didn't waste these weeks or months of singleness you had left? If a crystal ball could tell you that you are going to meet someone in three months, aren't there a few things you might want to do with the commitment-free single nights you have left? (Like, I don't know, make out with a hot bartender you see absolutely no future with, just because you can?)
While you search for a partner, try not to bog yourself down with must-do dating rules and depressing thoughts and so many dates you forget who you are and what you're looking for in the first place. Look for love, of course, but while you're doing it, live and love the life you have now. The more you do, the more likely it is that love will come flocking to you to find out your secret.
Beautiful post.
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Posted by: Relationship | January 13, 2009 at 09:37 PM
Very good article, thank you!
Posted by: nympho | April 05, 2009 at 02:24 AM
True. I guess peole always wanted the opposite and are very insatiable to things that they do not have at present. This only reminds us that we often take things for granted.
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I don't really "appreciate" those scare quotes.
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Posted by: sexshop4adults.co.uk | November 24, 2009 at 07:01 AM
Great post but in reality, most will not take these words to heart but rather still live by their own rules of interogation..lol
Posted by: DsGuide | February 25, 2010 at 08:17 PM
Love comes to those who wait. There is definitely somebody out there for everyone else.
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Does love really come to those who wait...?
Posted by: Nipple Clamps | March 17, 2010 at 04:08 AM
well its true. It is important to appreciate the little things so you can enjoy life to the fullest. It seems when you do the not so pleasant things can be handled with little interruption in your life.
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Appreciating small thing is always welcoming. I should use it more in reality...
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Posted by: Lynn | October 21, 2010 at 01:10 PM
Live life the fullest is the greatest philosophy that we can have. We end to waste our time to useless endeavor without knowing its outcome. Like looking for someone that we are going to spend the rest of our lives with. This is a lifetime commitment that is why we have to be very keen and don't have to rush things. Thanks a lot for this sharing of ideas.
Posted by: all women stalk | December 13, 2010 at 09:51 PM
well its true. It is important to appreciate the little things so you can enjoy life to the fullest. It seems when you do the not so pleasant things can be handled with little interruption in your life.
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Posted by: vrouw zoekt man | August 12, 2011 at 06:45 PM
Enjoy, love and embrace your life, because tomorrow is never promised, do things that make you smile and enjoy them with someone who no matter what barriers you come across, never fails to help you stay strong and find the safe path through.
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