What advice would you give a friend who is looking to find love in 2008?
Posted by: Sherry Amatenstein
Short and sweet: Get out of your own way. You say you want to find love then bemoan the countless reasons it’s eternally elusive. Okay, pick your poison:
*There are no good guys out there. *Why are all women psycho and/or gold diggers? *No way. He has a bald spot and wears white socks with black shoes. *She says she’s okay with my weekly boys only poker games but I know she doesn’t mean it. *He talks while he’s eating. Ewwww! * She’s great fun to be with but shouldn’t there be something more? *I know he’s gonna hurt me sooner or later so I’d better bail. *She’s a vegetarian and I love steak. How can that ever work? *He’d be insulted if I told him I prefer less tongue while we’re kissing. Guess we’ll never be sexually compatible. *She’s a little too close to her mom. *He’s such a great guy. Too bad he’s a Cancer.
The excuses why a potential partner can come close but not close enough to being The One are ad infinitum. Obviously there are numerous valid reasons to bail – he/she is emotionally volatile and unstable; your major life goals don’t mesh (i.e.: you want a pack of small fry; she is a card carrying member of The Child Free Club), etc. But until and unless you deal with your own fears and blocks and disconnects you’ll remain an Admit One. Not that there’s anything wrong with that as the commitment-phobic characters of Seinfeld would say but at least be on to your shtick.
So to find love, stop the excuses; the litany of why all the good ones are taken and all I ever get is dregs. If you truly want love and allow yourself to be open to a viable candidate it can happen. This is the year.
Great advice. I almost didn't date the love of my life because he was 'too short' (but still a head taller than me). My friend almost didn't date the love of HER life because 'I've already met him once and there was no spark'. If we didn't have girlfriends to kick our asses and tell us we were being ridiculous, we wouldn't be where we are (happy) today.
Posted by: Maxine | January 09, 2008 at 02:01 PM
Become that guy that she "needs to have tonight". It doesn't matter if she is "unavailable" or in a different age group...if you want her, you can have her.
Posted by: James | April 16, 2008 at 02:11 PM
Getting out of your own way isn't always that easy. Finding love in 2008, 2007 has been tough. But there is light, thank goodness.
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Samantha
Posted by: Get a guy | April 26, 2008 at 01:08 AM
confidence is key - u can win anyone over with that.
-jerry
Posted by: Herpes Dating Sites | September 25, 2008 at 04:55 PM
My advice: settle for a fugly.
Posted by: casualencounters.com/blog/ | June 04, 2009 at 02:53 PM
Or someone ready to "calibrate" to your requirements.
Posted by: casualencounters.com/blog/ | July 22, 2009 at 06:36 PM
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Posted by: $500 payday loans | March 08, 2011 at 08:52 AM
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Posted by: Singles Canada | October 29, 2011 at 11:22 PM
Hi, there is nothing wrong if you or your partner has their own space where nobody can enter. Like is wrong to look long in someones eyes , wrong is to try get inside the person absolutely.
Posted by: Dating expert | January 14, 2012 at 08:59 AM