Posted by: Evan Marc Katz
Topic: Speaking from personal experience, what are the three best things about being single?
I can talk for hours about dating (ask any of my friends), tout my vast experience as a dating coach (ask any of my clients), and write endless articles about relationships on my blog (ask any of my readers), but at the end of the day, my perspective is entirely limited.
After all, I’ve ALWAYS been single. And asking a perpetually single person the best thing about being single is like asking your buddy, “What’s the best thing about being a man?”
Um, “You can pee standing up?”
But I sure do know that view well.
Listen, there are a lot of ways to learn about people. You’ll have a different experience dating one woman than you will dating fifty women, and a different experience sleeping with one woman repeatedly than with fifty women once. One experience provides depth, the other provides breadth.
My experience is all breadth. By remaining single for 35 years, I’ve inadvertently gotten a knowledge of women that I never would have if I’d tied the knot when I was 25.
So chalk that up in the plus column: Experience
Riding shotgun with experience is everybody’s favorite spice of life: Variety. And after eight years of online dating and hundreds of dates, I can say definitively that if I never go on another first date again (and my girlfriend would kill me if I did), I won’t go the grave wondering what else is out there. I’ve seen it up close and taken notes every step of the way. All of which has honed my decision making and allowed my choice in girlfriends to get better and better.
Fall madly for one person and you become an expert in one person. Sample a lot of people and you become an expert in human nature. Thank God for variety.
Finally, while it’s well documented what you get out of being married – safety and security being close to the top of many couples’ lists – what you lose is something I hold dear to my heart: Freedom and Independence. Being single is a selfish life, and I’ll tell you – it’s pretty darned nice. I’ve always woken up when I wanted, traveled where I wanted, and scheduled my life according to my whims and desires. There’s no compromise in being single – you just have to remain true to yourself and look out for Number One. Life is easy when you’re accountable only to yourself.
For me, being single has been a long and joyous experiment. So while I’m ambivalent about giving up my variety and freedom, at least I know that no one can ever take away my experience.