Posted by: Sherry Amatenstein
Topic: A recent study says that we can correctly figure out what a stranger is thinking 20% of the time…and what a romantic partner is thinking 35% of the time. In your opinion, what does that indicate about how well we know our mates?
Remember the Newlywed Game? Blushing brides and grooms asked embarrassing questions about one another like:
Which porno film will your spouse say you most remind him/her of?
a) Deep throat b) Long dong silver c) On golden blonde
d) Romancing the bone
Where was the last place you ate lunch together?
I don’t think any studies have been done correlating exactly what knowing answers to questions like these have to do with really knowing your mate and what makes him/her tick. Research can often be skewed any which way. Remember Woody Allen’s Sleeper when he is revived after a 200 year coma and discovers, among other futuristic improvements, that scientists have verified deep fried fatty foods and smoking are extremely good for you?
I’m curious exactly what is it those 35% of romantic partners polled understand about their partners - that after downing a box of Oreos in one sitting, he/she is thinking, 'Okay, the diet starts tomorrow?'
What matters most in having a successful relationship is not necessarily to correctly “guess” what your mate is thinking. What goes on in my noggin a goodly portion of the time is anything but profound though often quite predictable.
Rather as Amy pointed out it’s vital to communicate as in don’t assume you know the answer to everything and ask your mate what it is he/she wishes you knew… and to communicate in turn.
Spill those important thoughts. Don’t be a mind reader but a mind sharer.