Posted by: Evan Marc Katz
Topic: Do you believe in love at first sight? Have you experienced it – and was it “the real thing” or lust?
I think it’s always “lust at first sight”.
It’s just that once in a blue moon, lust turns into everlasting love. And because those stories exist, millions upon millions of people hope to similarly capture lightning in a bottle.
Witness this hugely popular story out of New York City last week, which fed into our collective desire to believe in “love at first sight”. Young Patrick Moberg saw a girl on the subway, and, unable to summon the nerve to ask her out, built a website, “New York Girl of My Dreams” to try and track her down. Being an artist and graphic designer, he did. And, as reported by Diane Sawyer, they had one great first date, most befitting of two adorable urban hipsters.
But how long do you think they’re going to last, really? Three dates? Five dates? Five months?
I hate to be a cynic, but I think we can agree that 99% of first dates DON’T turn into marriage.
You can talk about love all you want, but no matter how you look at it – the ONLY thing a guy can tell about a girl at first sight is whether he wants to rip her clothes off.
He has no idea what she does professionally, how she gets along with her dad, if she likes golden retrievers or board games or pornography or chocolate ice cream. He certainly doesn’t know how she’s going to treat him, nor whether she’s in a healthy place for a relationship.
Believe it or not, I’m a romantic. I love following my heart and pursuing dreams. WAY before “missed connections” became a staple of places like Craigslist, I took out an ad in my college newspaper to find a woman with whom I had magical eye contact. We didn't meet until six years later in Los Angeles. And what I learned when we became friends is that a) she had no recollection of the strong connection I felt back in college, and b) apart from how hot she was, she’d be the last person I’d ever date.
So yes, our radar can be off as much as it can be on. And thank God for that. Because I experience lust at first sight pretty much every time I go out.
But in no way do I mistake that exciting, new hormone rush for the deeper way I love my girlfriend. Too much misplaced lust over the years has taught me well.
The fact is, only a handful of people have their lust turn into love, and their love turn into stability.
Good for them. The rest of us just need to get over it.