Posted by: Sherry Amatenstein
Topic: What three things do you think are vital to an amazing relationship?
Ah, a question designed to give ye olde brain cells a workout. So many components are vital to a relationship taking off, but those qualities aren’t universal across the board. Some couples need constant togetherness; others thrive on alone time. Some marriages revolve around shared hobbies and goals. Other pairings are hooked around wanting a partner who’s intriguingly different rather than a clone.
Still if I must be pinned down I’ll start with the C word.No, not chemistry: Commitment. If both people aren’t yoked together by the unbreakable resolve to remain yoked together no matter what, at painful junctures in the relationship one or both might bail. Being truly committed involves more than a marriage license, shared children, pets or even a lease on a great apartment. Well, maybe the latter if you’re in New York. But the point is you relish the fun and easy times and buckle down and do what must be done (i.e.: couples therapy) even during those periods when your most fervent desire is to cut and run. You’re a we not two mes.
Moving to the other end of the alphabet – Vulnerability. You trust each enough to know it’s safe to confess those ‘shameful’ secrets and fantasies. You can be utterly real. No need to play games or test the other’s love. You know each other inside & out physically and emotionally, yet rather than being scared off, you’ve still got each other, babes!
Refusal to let things grow stale. You’re adventurers, explorers, risk-takers… Jumping out of a plane is neither required nor necessarily recommended. But you refuse to allow the minutia of everyday life to harpoon your relationship. You're always looking for new interests to explore together. It is priority for both of you not to take the other for granted. Romance is no holiday treat but a part of your daily diet. Rather than assume familiarity with each nook and cranny of the other’s psyche you allow each day to be a new beginning together rife with potential discoveries.
In the end the three most vital components of an amazing relationship can be summed up by another essential in American life – CVS.