Topic: What three things do you think are vital to an amazing relationship?
Posted by: Aly Walansky

As I read Evan's post, I laughed, and then, well, I agreed. Sex (and its partners, attraction/passion) are vital to keeping the magic alive in a relationship.

But you know what? Without:

1. Trust
2. Friendship
3. Respect

That sexual compatibility just won't be enough.

I think we all have had people we are sexually simpatico with, where the rest of the relationship is lacking. Ripping each other's clothes off in discreet locales and knowing more positions than the Kama Sutra -  sure it's hot. Sure it makes you a "fun" couple. But it's also a smoke screen for many of the other parts of your love life that may be lacking. Do you communicate well? Do you have common interests? Do you respect each other's thoughts and feelings? Maybe the reason you are having so much sex is because there's nothing else you are good at doing together.

And, of course, there's the opposite problem: The relationship where you are basically feeling the brotherly-sisterly vibe, and sex is routine and mundane (or bad or nonexistent). Sure, you have fun hanging out, watching TV, gabbing over sushi. But you have friends for that stuff. That ain't a great relationship either.

My point here? It's like when you are baking brownies - leave out an ingredient, it just ain't going to come out right, no matter how premium the stuff that does make it into the bowl may be.

Sex is hugely important - but its role is intrinsically linked to all the other important facets. Is yours a relationship where you communicate your thoughts and feelings regularly...or let problems fester? Do you do what your mate wants to do just to avoid conflicts or arguments? Or are you an equal partner? When all these ducks are in order, the sex is even hotter, and the feelings, even better.

Comments

[Becca]

Out of all the blogs on this topic, yours is the one I agree with the most. Especially the last paragraph.