Posted by:  Vix the Over-Educated Nympho
Topic: Do you think you can really and truly “feel” chemistry via email?

I'm really into email. I don't do the phone. I'm a writer, that means I write. Email has the potential to be a great form of communication far beyond "lets meet at le madeleine @ 8." Not to brag, but I do killer emails. They sound just like how I talk in person, complete with tone, rhythm, and goofy jokes. Anyone who can match me this-for-that is Awesome with a capital "A" in my eyes.

I have never dated someone who "gave good email." It is definitely an art, and one that many people lack. Especially guys. Most prefer brevity. Most of my lengthy emails were answered with two sentences. Sometimes two words. Forget capital letters or periods. What, you don't love me enough to punctuate?

One boyfriend ended every other sentence with an emoticon. If I hadn't personally known him, I would have sworn he was gay from all the smiley faces all over the d*** place. Content and length aside, I rarely felt chemistry when emailing boyfriends.

There's one guy I dated a couple years ago whom I got to know through a friend and then first via email. He was witty, charming, and didn't litter his paragraphs (paragraphs!!) with "LOL." I had no idea someone could be charming over email, what a delight!

From the moment we met in person, we both knew there was no chemistry between us. I felt more chemistry the first time I met my puppy. What was wrong about my modern-day Prince Charming? He was good-looking, nice, funny, wrote great emails--where the hell was the chemistry I had been swooning over for weeks? The date ended quickly, we exchanged a few more delightful emails, and yada yada delete.

Later I got to know a guy over email and the phone. The first time on the phone we talked for nearly an hour and a half, cracking each other up the whole time. His emails were so fantastic that I often did Laugh My Ass Off. When we finally met, the chemistry was twice as amazing. Even his one-line emails made me giggly, and I don't go around giggling over any little thing.

Like Margo Z said, so-called chemistry over email it is to be taken with caution. For all you know he's a master manipulator (personality mirroring, for example), pulling a Roxanne, or he's saying whatever he thinks it takes to get in your pants.

Email is no better indication of chemistry between two people than pairing their astrological signs to see if they're a match made in heaven. It's a crap-shoot whether LOL and LMAO feel chemistry beyond a world of XOXO.

Comments

[Taoist Biker]

What, you never got an email from some guy who runs off at the fingers? Not possible. Haven't I emailed you before? Hell, I can't say "ouch" in less than four paragraphs.

[Glenn]

I can personally stand by Vix's statement that she is a great email-er. While I myself have a great deal to learn about the great art of the great email.

Like the love letters of centuries past, I see that emails are becoming more and more about the people sending them and about the actual content rather than the perceived content. Still people stand up and (seemingly) scream that emails can't express what the want/feel/the tone/etc - but I think that's just an excuse. One that is getting weaker and weaker.

Connecting with people has always been difficult, email just gives us one more avenue to attempt that connection - but as always that actual meeting face to face is much, much more important.

And anyway email if just a FORM of communication, it's certainly NOT the be all and end all. For me the eyes will always have it - especially ones behind a sexy pair of frames. ;)

[Taoist Biker]

Good point, Glenn. Those who complain that email is an inadequate medium can't have mastered the written word, period. What, you can't do it in an email but you could in a handwritten letter? Allow me to rebut that point thusly: Thhbbbpptt.

[Sue]

I agree. You can have chemistry via email, but you have it with the personality that is presented to you. If that isn't who the other person truly is, well, then you are sure to be disappointed when you meet in person and figure that out.