Cold Topic: Do you believe in love at first sight? Have you experienced it – and was it “the real thing” or lust?
Posted by: Vix the Over-Educated Nympho
The question from last week has left me feeling unsettled. (And, um, not just because this article is way overdue... it has been mentally marinading, jeez.) Many of my fellow writers on the panel touched upon the "shouldn't have but did" situation of falling for someone out of misguided love/lust.
Been there, done him, and I want to point out one key factor: no matter how wrong the person was, something, some sort of undeniable attraction was at work. That is called chemistry, and it takes more than a nice set of tits to explain it.
There are many types of chemistry both inside and outside the world of dating: emotional, psychological, physical, intellectual, personal, and probably more that are beyond the grasp of categorization. An ideal mate embodies all of these, but sometimes all it takes is a helluva lot of one to spark something between two people. Once the big spark settles down, all the other layers start becoming visible.
One of my favorite lust-at-first-sight stories is about a Puerto Rican semi-professional boxer I met at the gym. We dated casually and had a fantastic time together. What first attracted me to him (okay second, I admit I noticed his rock-hard arms and tattoos first) was how in tune he was with his body when he worked out, and I don't mean like those douchebags who check themselves out in the mirror constantly and grunt a lot. The level of focus, discipline, and drive was awe-inspiring to a newbie like me who felt lost inside my own body.
With a few boxing sessions he taught me how to push my body far past what I trusted it to do. We talked about where we came from and where we wanted to go with our lives. Our brief time together was the start of finding a direction after years of feeling disconnected from my own life.
The chemistry was far more intricate than "I thought he was hot." It may have started there, but his body is not why I remember him years later.