Topic: What three things do you think are vital to an amazing relationship?
Posted by: Margo Z
Since my fellow bloggers have more than adequately covered the first two points (along with respect, commitment, honesty, passion, great sex and all that wonderful and necessary stuff), let’s talk about one other all-too-often forgotten component of a truly amazing relationship.
Once upon a time, I was a serious, driven, practical, level-headed and rather uptight suburban divorcée. The kind who had a silent conniption when a man propped his shoes up on her glass-topped cocktail table. The kind who had to know in advance what the plans were or she’d be too keyed up to enjoy herself. The kind who would SAY she liked surprises and spontaneity... but really didn't.
And then I met Josh.
Josh has a simple philosophy about men, himself included: “Deep down, we are all eleven years old. We think farts are uproariously funny, and will until the day we die.”
I believe he’s right about that in the sense that men don’t seem to lose their sense of childlike whimsy as early or as completely as many women do. Men can be responsible, solid, upstanding citizens, thrive in their careers, provide for their families, become admired leaders in their communities… and still find farts, "The Three Stooges," and old Cheech and Chong routines endlessly amusing.
Women are all too often, in my opinion, encouraged to leave that kind of immature silliness behind them. It’s part of the process of becoming a lady. Before I met Josh, I would get this prim, disapproving look on my face whenever the subject of flatulence came up. I would shriek in horror if a man walked into the bathroom while I was on the pot. And making funny faces for a camera? Please. Undignified.
I -- yes, I -- was a Seriously Not-Fun Person.
Being with Josh has changed all that. Mind you, it’s taken a full three years… but he’s worn me down. (Perhaps he saw a glimmer of hope early on when he learned that I liked "Beavis and Butt-head" even more than he did.) I, too, now find farts uproariously funny. Not that I revel in them to the extent that he does, or go looking for fart-related opportunities, but you get the idea.
I am a changed woman, thanks to him. I’ve been able to relax with my new husband in a way I never have with any other man. Maybe it’s all that trust/vulnerability stuff at work. Maybe it's because I'm 47 years old and no longer give a damn about what other people think of me. Or... maybe it’s because I finally recognize that I have found my soulmate, the love of my life, and can let my hair down, at last, at last! It’s okay to be all of who I am, and it’s okay for Josh to be all of who he is – at age 11 or 36, or anywhere in between.
And it’s okay to laugh and be silly and have fun! Imagine that! For instance: who knew what a total blast it could be to own a hot tub with the added incentive of fart bubble contests?
So often, as I’m gasping for air after laughing at – well, whatever silliness – and I will bemoan out loud, “What have you done?! Look at me, acting like this, I used to be a lady, I used to have class. What happened??” To which Josh replies, grinning, “Um… you met me.”
As it’s Friday, time to collectively put our brains in the jar for another weekend, I will leave you with Josh’s favorite poem (certainly, the only one he has memorized). Cracks me up every time I recite it to someone. And you know… it feels pretty damned good to crack up on a regular basis! It is, indeed, one of the most “amazing” aspects of our marriage. One I wouldn’t give up for all the decorum or pristine tabletops in the world.
Arty Farty threw a party.
Tutti Fruity was there.
Tutti Fruity blew a beauty –
And they all went out for air!