Mix It Up

Posted by: Dan Savage
Topic: On LTRs and Sparks

This is going to be a post about sex toys. I'll keep it clean and clinical—more Dr. Ruth than "Savage Love"—but if the existence of sex toys offends you, to say nothing of the discussion of sex toys, you might want to scroll on past this post.

So.

Earlier this week we were talking about breaking out of ruts and getting the ol' spark back, and I, of course, assumed we were talking about sex. Because I'm like that. I made a recommendation about what I felt couples in ruts should avoid doing. (Don't sit on your butts and eat--get off your butts and do.) Today I'd like to offer a something a couple can do to get the spark back, something proactive, something brave and bold.

Something Madonna recently did--buy a sex toy.

Madonna was photographer leaving a London hotel earlier this week with her husband, film director Guy Ritchie. Madonna was carrying a clear plastic shopping bag, and clearly visible in the shopping bag was something called a Purple Penetrator. I'm not going to go into just what a Purple Penetrator is, or how it works, or its suggested retail price or anything. I will say, however, that the London tabloids went nuts, with many suggesting that it's clear now Madonna "wears the trousers" in her household. If you want to know more, Google it.

Madonna and Ritchie have been together since 1999—that's eight years, an eternity in celebrity years. I hope what I'm about to type isn't the kiss of death, but here goes: Madonna and Ritchie are still together after eight years and if they're still in love, well, they're clearly doing something right. And part of what they may be doing right—sorry to play into gossiping about celebs here, Greg and Amiira—is mixing it up in the sack, experimenting, playing, and growing sexually.

A couple doesn't need sex toys to do that, of course, but sex toys can be a good way for a couple stuck in a sexual rut to kick-start their sex lives. I'm not generally don't recommend living through or like celebrities, but married couples that want to break out of a sexual rut might want to emulate Madonna and Guy and hit a sex toy store. I recommend Babeland, Good Vibrations, Come As You Are, and Grand Opening.

Comments

[Aaron]

Hear Hear!

There is a taboo to sex toys, especially those made for men. The no-no naughty factor is starting to wear down a bit but it is definately time to tear it down. After all why should I feel a little shy posting in favor of this (but I do). The notion that sex is only romantic if it's missionary and w/out additives is a puritanical leftover from the Victorian Era. We've that the sexual revolution, the erotic revolution shouldn't be far behind.

[Oren Amitay]

Dan....Dan...How can you make your recommendations without including the store that literally started it all in Canada nearly 36 years ago and is still in operation today? LOVECRAFT. You mentioned Come as You Are, one of whose owners used to work at Lovecraft and who owes a huge debt to Lovecraft and its owner, Anne Amitay (yes, she is my mother).

If not for my mother (and her former partner) opening up Lovecraft in the first place, none of the stores you mentioned (at least not in Canada) would likely be in existence today, unless their owners were willing to fight against and tear down the laws and moral outrage that would have broken most other proprietors nearly 40 years ago, following the decline of the era of "free love."

The fact that my mother still runs Lovecraft and can even be found behind the counter after all of these years is a testament to the conviction of "Canada's grandmother of the sex industry." A little recognition and respect is due, don't you think Dan?

Kiss of death? yes.
Madonna divorced Ritchie.

[James]

Of course stuff lying around the house can help spice up a marriage as well.

[James]

Even water jets in a sauna, chocolate syrup, or the back massager can become a great sex enhancing "toy".

[James]

I think sex with my wife is awesome, but do not think that our fun has to be without the perks of new creative ways to have fun together in the bedroom.