Reading About Porn

Posted by: Dan Savage
Topic: Porn Wars

Here's something weird: I don't like to watch porn, but I like to read about porn—please note that's "read about." Videotape of people doing what, uh, most people do without making a tape doesn't do much for me. Oh, I've glanced. But I've never rented or purchased. And now, thanks to the Internet, no one really needs to rent or purchase ever again. And as the New York Times recently reported, the Internet is killing the porn business.

The online availability of free or low-cost photos and videos has begun to take a fierce toll on sales of X-rated DVDs. Inexpensive digital technology has paved the way for aspiring amateur pornographers, who are flooding the market, while everyone in the industry is giving away more material to lure paying customers.

But I've always enjoyed reading about the production of pornography—I enjoy checking out NSFW websites like Fleshbot, where porn and pornographers are deconstructed, mocked, praised and reported on in roughly equal measure. My friends think it's odd that I stay informed about a product that I have so little interest in, comparing me to someone with a lactose intolerance reading about dairy farms in Wisconsin.

One reason I stay in the porn loop, of course, is that I write a sex-advice column, "Savage Love," for a living. Porn comes up constantly in my letters at "Savage Love." Many men enjoy looking at porn, and many women regard their boyfriend's or husband's porn-viewing habits as akin to cheating. Some straight men, of course, don't look at porn and some straight women do or don't mind—and these men and women don't send me letters, as porn isn't a point of tension or conflict in their relationships. But of all the issues I get letters about form straight couples, battling over porn—it's use, it's production, it's concealment—is right up there in the top three.

I never, however, get letters from gay men expressing the same sentiment, more proof that gay men are men first and gay second. For us, it seems, porn is a non-issue.

Comments

[Brian]

I watch it and read up on it, through Fleshbot, Eros Guide, Gram Ponante, Violet Blue, Susie Bright, AdultDVDTalk.com and other great sites. I do find it odd though, since of course as a man it's pretty standard that I would enjoy some modicum of visual stimulation but what other men don't often care about is reading about the business, reading reviews of the releases, reading interviews with performers, directors, producers and talking intelligently about porn in all its multi-faceted impact and content. However, the risk might be looking quite the freak because you have this much info on your side! What can I say, I am nerd about many things, including porn.

A lot of porn is garbage, but there is a lot that is good too. No different than finding good and bad TV programs, good and bad films or good and bad music. You have to do your research. It can be healthy for single men & women and for couples, but there is no requirement to enjoy it of course, as my wife noted she does not. No big deal and no big arguments either. Although maybe if she just saw more of Marc Dorcel's French language porn... :)

[Big Jake]

I dont think all the free porn is hurting anything. Thats what people said about music online, I can find everything for free, but it is still going strong....Maybe they should start "porn concerts" <

[Mirah Bradford]

I love porno! Please send me lots of porn to mbradford@philoshopia.com

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