Posted by: Ed Young
So many people are jumping into what are commonly called starter marriages and then moving on to other marriages. It's the vogue thing to do these days. But divorce has this ripple effect. It’s not just between the two parties. It’s between many, many others. Society gives so many open doors to divorce, yet I still maintain that the marriage relationship is the most important earthly relationship that we have. The last time I checked there are over 50 million marriages in the US and 94% will marry at least once. 75% of those who are divorced remarry within the first two years of their divorce. The stats are pretty sobering.
Even though marriages are busting up in record numbers, even though record numbers of people are walking through the door of divorce, millions pursue it every year. And I still believe in it. Marriage is the foundation for the family. Great marriages can change communities, cities, states, and really the world. And a great marriage begins with creativity.
I’ve done a lot of study on creativity. My wife and I have written a book called The Creative Marriage. We’re to be creative because we’re made in the image of our creative Creator. Creativity should transcend every area of our lives especially it should hold true in marriage. Think about it, in marriage you have two creative people and when they join together as one flesh, you should have creativity on the next level.
When I talk about creativity in marriage, I’m really talking about the “W” word. Yes, work. Some people work harder at having an affair than they do in trying to make their own marriage work. Ouch! But marital work has phenomenal rewards.
We need to dive in to marital work like we dive into a business deal or dive into the lives of our kids or dive into any project.
In my profession, many people think, “Ed, it’s easy for you to talk about marriage. You’ve been married for almost 25 years and you have a great marriage. You’ve written books about it. You’re a pastor. Blah, blah, blah.”
Yeah, I do have a great marriage, but Lisa and I have gone through conflict and we’ve gone through hard times because every marriage has the same dilemmas. Every marriage has the same situations or the same hurdles. Successful ones know how to negotiate the rough times and come out stronger. Marriage has taken a lot of work on my part and Lisa’s part but we’ll both tell you it’s worth it. Couples today hit a relational sticking point. They don’t want to deal with the junk so they say, “Let’s just open the door to divorce.”
They take the same junk, the same baggage into the next marriage. They walk through the next door of divorce, the next door of divorce. Deal with it now. Just commit to each other and to God, “This deal is for keeps and I’m going to keep creativity and innovation in my marriage.” In short, maintain the MWE, the Marital Work Ethic. And, by the way, that commitment begins even before walking down the marital runner.
Okay, I’ll get off my soap box now…you can go back to watching The Starter Wife or Desperate Housewives.